My Steel-Toed Boots are Falling Apart
brsis:

isaia:

themaefive:

axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

#linguistics #a.k.a. how I learned to stop worrying and love the evolution of the English language without being a discriminatory elitist jerk (via crystalandrock)

This a million times

Marc Johns needs to sit down

not to mention this is a construction that other languages have already evolved (there’s a linguistic distinction in japanese between ‘i am quoting directly’ and ‘i am giving a paraphrased version of what was said’)

brsis:

isaia:

themaefive:

axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.

ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.

the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 

"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get

"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.

"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."

Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 

"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.

Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

  (via crystalandrock)

This a million times

Marc Johns needs to sit down

not to mention this is a construction that other languages have already evolved (there’s a linguistic distinction in japanese between ‘i am quoting directly’ and ‘i am giving a paraphrased version of what was said’)

grownupsealand:

foreveralone-lyguy:

Walmart brand Ice Cream Sandwiches don’t melt

Walmart food is literally the scariest shit like once I got a carton of eggs AND THEY WERE FERTILIZED. FUCKING DEAD BABY CHICKEN IN YOUR STUPID FUCKING EGGS LIKE REALLY WHAT THE FUCK WALMART?!!!?? WHAT THE FUCK.

dajo42:

an au

dumbledore: hagrid im gonna need u to get rid of the philosophers stone
hagrid: ok
hagrid: lmao
[hagrid just uses the stone to make himself and fang immortal]

Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Male Writer: I am original

slayboybunny:

men disgust me and i don’t mean that in a silly misandrist tumblr post zinger way I mean that at least 80% of the men I have met say think and do really disgusting shit regularly

armageddotron:

DO SHE GOT A BOOTY

She don’t. Where her booty should be is nothing but a swirling void. I try to look away but cannot. The void beckons me. I shall not return. Tell mother that I love her, and that I am sorry.

glowcloud:

sweet-macon-crank:

yungmethuselah:

No sex act is “revolutionary.” Fucking is not activism. Get over yourselves.

Neither is sex shaming. Real activism has nothing to do with it.

When did this post shame anyb— OH GOD JIMMY YOURE A 28 YEAR OLD SEX POSITIVE MALE FEMINIST. JIMMY.

mareepe:

nyello

mareepe:

nyello

worldofroleplay:

We have a winner.

worldofroleplay:

We have a winner.

outofcontextdnd:

I’m not evil, I’m good impaired!

quantum-angel:

thesassylorax:

theunithasasoul:

amazingavengers:

beifag:

k1mkardashian:

girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket 

having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry

none of you can do it discreetly anyways

we see you

everyone sees you

people all the way across the planet see you

pocketjaeger:

s-burb:

I WANNA BE A PRETTY GIRL WHO WEARS FLOWY DRESSES AND BOWS AND CUTE SHOES

BUT I ALSO WANNA BE A GUY WITH BUTTON UP SHIRTS AND FACIAL STUBBLE

BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE A PUNK GIRL WITH TEAL HAIR AND CROSS JUMPERS

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT TO BE A GUY WITH BEANIES AND COMBAT BOOTS AND PIERCINGS

dye your hair teal, get some piercings, and wear manly button-ups with flowy skirts and combat boots and punch anyone who doesn’t fall on their knees and worship you

helarniasdragons:

inkdops:

"It is not uncommon for a spiral dragon to rapidly speak and gesture nonstop for hours, then pass-out midsentence without warning."
"When a Guardian dragon comes of age, it instinctively seeks out a charge to protect for the rest of its considerable life."
(from the flight rising encyclopedia)

i thought a guardian with a spiral charge would be cute uvu

Perfectly adorable!♥

giraffepoliceforce:

"You can’t just change the race of cultural icons like Captain America! It’s an important part of their identity and message!"

Jesus: Ah yes.

Jesus: Can’t imagine who would do that.

Jesus: What a shame.